TalesWithMuna

After hearing what precious had to say, i was left with only a couple of seconds to cook up an advice for her, so she could come out of her situation. I barely had started, when i heard these words "SHUT UP". It came out from her inner person, no girl had shook me like this before and for the next 5minutes or so i became dumb, this time not hearing but listening to her as she continued "SHUT UP i say, really an advice isnt what i need from you now, i need you not just to feel for me, but to feel with me the pains i am going through. When i cry i need you not to clean my eyes always, but to see the pain i am trying to let out through my tears and join me in crying, when i am going through alot, i need more than your hand to push me in the so called right direction or path, i need you to go through with me, and if its burning my heart, i need you to feel the heat, i need you to not just jump to meeting my needs but to relate to the fact that i have a need, for once i need you to calm down, stop the activities in your lil head and just LISTEN TO ME"
     It dawned on me for the first time in my life that sometimes, people need more than just fixing, they need LISTENING. I could see that she needed not my advice or guide, but me by her side, and after being mute all this while i was able to mutter "hey P, uhm listening". And for the first time in so many years, it felt good to actually hear her talk but moreso listen to her words and just focus on her without having so many thoughts running through my mind like i was hosting an athletic event.
     And then the experience, the tears just started rolling down my eyes as i finally could relate with her situation, it was like i was her, and i could feel every bit of her pain, because her situation was so familiar. I was not just "famzing" but the feeling was strong as i started having flash backs too, our situations where so similar that it was like we walked through the same garden of thorns at different points in our life. I could tell her how this thorn felt and the process of the pain and she was surprised that i was actually right. It was more than just a guess work, it was real.
    P, as i loved calling her, just broke up with boy friend of 4years and it was like her world just crumbled. She was so into this boy that she swore she would marry him, bare children for him and all that. She loved him with her life, no wonder the pain. She said the relationship started going sour, the calls and texting became less, and there was a time she got none for a whole month. She decided to pay a visit to this dude, and she got the shock of her life, he had relocated to "obodo oyibo" and told his flat mate to tell her whenever she came that he had gone and did not see a future with her. She was devasted, she said he would have atleast broken up with her in person, no dignity whatsover, she was pained.
    I on the other hand knew what P felt because i also just broke up with my girl friend of 5years. I knew what it felt like to see someone who you gave your life to just shut the door of love on you and throw the keys into the deep oceans of hatred. I knew what it felt like to see someone who you built your future around leave because of one reason or the other, i knew more than she thought i did. I knew she would cry out her eyes every night, i knew she would try to forget him by deleting his number and pictures from her phone and other gadgets, but really that didnt take him off her mind, i knew this because i did it too and as this memories flooded my head again, so did tears flood my eyes. Suddenly, we started crying together, and she knew of a truth i was feeling her. I told her my experience in tears and she knew i had even gone through worse, she cried more.
    And then, when the crying got to its climax, we started laughing, she made fun of my plight and we laughed it out, Made fun of her too, and she gave me that smile that just said "hey sam, thanks" and then she laughed. We laughed till we both fell asleep on each other, and thats all she needed from me, peace, rest, joy, laughter, smile and all those things. She woke up bright and better and today she is MISS INDEPENDENT. All it took was for me to listen and just relate................
     
Most times all people want is not just for you to hear them out, but to listen, learn to listen to your partner, to that bestfriend, as that is the way you would hear what he/she is  trying to say even though they did not say it..... cheersss!!!